part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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