I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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