I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
