Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
