Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
