Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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