Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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