Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
