Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
