dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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