i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
