She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
