i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
