Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
