8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
