Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
