You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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