There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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