Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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