Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
