Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
