Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
