The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
