I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
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