I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
