you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am naked and annoyed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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