I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
