The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize