He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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