the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
