he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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