I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
MIDGETS
????
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
