The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize