Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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