at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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