Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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