I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
