I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
