I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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