I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
