I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
