At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
