she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
