Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
