i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
