You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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