please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
