Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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