and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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