is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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