i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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