I'm really into asian looking animals
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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