i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
